Four simple strategies to make people pay attention to you
Do you feel like you are delivering the same message again and again and yet having no impact?
People are NOT IGNORING YOU they just cannot hear you. This mostly happens in two cases:
- We do not have their full attention and/or
- We forget that their point of view (POV) is different to yours and they simply can’t see the same things you see
To be able to share any message we need to get our audience’s attention first.
This becomes particularly difficult if we are participating in a discussion with more than three people involved. Add a few extra persons and the likelihood of everyone being heard reduces tremendously.
Often in collective discussions, two or three people talk more than the rest of the group. In those situations, it becomes hard to put a word in and even the best of us end up not saying anything. I’ve been there, I’m sure you have too.
Here is the thing – you do have a message and the group discussion will have more depth, better results and greater diversity of points of view if you and I share what we have to say.
The worst that can happen people will become used to you not saying anything so they assume that you have nothing to say.
Consequenses of this:
a. If what you needed to say is important, in the work setting or not, it will come back to you in some form of “you should have known better why didn’t you speak up”.
b. If you consistently do not add value to discussions you will stop getting invitations to join.
c. You will feel ignored, undervalued and unimportant
Neither is any good for your career, opportunities, your leadership status or your impact at your workplace, within your network or community.
To make people stop and listen, you need a pattern interrupt.
People switch their full attention to us if what we are saying can affect something very important to them. No exceptions.
The four strategies that I found to be very effective to grab attention are these: ask, news, surprise and story. Understand what is a stake for those you are speaking with then use one of the four strategies to get your message heard.
This is how they work in practice.
ASK
People like their ideas better than yours. If you can make your idea become theirs you will have no need to convince anyone that it is worth consideration.
Asking good questions is a wonderful way to replace telling. Select a question people with the highest authority in the discussion group would really want to answer. Ask them. Once they finish answering that question, be ready with your second question that makes your idea obvious from their point of view. Because you are asking them, they will need to address your point. You are effectively using their status in the group (works even in one-on-one situations, e.g. review meetings, negotiations and various other settings).
In most cases, using someone else’s status is the most effective way to shine a light on what you are trying to say. They are promoting your idea without you talking.
News
As humans we are constantly scanning our environment for something new, all attention naturally goes to it once we find it. If you want to be in the spotlight yourself, you need a short and sharp piece of news that is directly affecting the thing that is crucially important for people in that conversation.
Figure out what it is beforehand, and save it to get the spotlight when you need it. A little research goes long way. There is always something on the internet, in your department or in the numbers you have access to that can add value to the conversation, something that only you can know.
The critical part is to recite the words and phrases used in the conversation by others to link that piece of information to the conversation that is taking place. The more connection the news has with the results everyone is after, the more attention it will get. Every single time I used this strategy, there was silence with all heads turned toward me listening to every word.
If you also have ideas on how to make use of that news to fast-track results, the effect is lasting.
Surprise
Another thing we do as humans, we operate on assumptions to make decisions. Every time those assumptions prove to be incorrect we not only pay attention but also experience an array of emotions that makes that experience memorable.
If you have knowledge of something that others do not expect (including your abilities, interests, and facts that are true despite what they know) they will at the very least stop and listen to your facts. We are wired to generate our own predictions and for that reason, we re-adjust them every time when things don’t happen the expected way. So we pay attention.
This works regardless of how much such a surprise affects our audience. At the same time, the more connected it is to what’s important to them, the more value it creates, and the more memorable you become.
Story
When someone suddenly says “Oh I know someone who did that and this is what happened next…” and then a story follows. In 99.99% of the cases, people will want to know what happens next.
Come up with a story about someone (it can be yourself) that shows a similar situation, actions that followed and what the story ended with. Once people recognise the beginning of a story, they curiosity will help them stay with you to the end.
Evolution makes us pay attention every time someone begins with a variation of “Once upon a time …” Our first natural reaction is to stop, listen and figure out if the story has a lesson we can use. Because we are built this way.
All of these strategies are very powerful but there is a catch…
The catch
You do need to have a message and you do need to know how to convey it.
I have shared my fast way of doing it. The Communication Toolkit(which you have hopefully downloaded by now) maps out how to carefully craft your message to convert what you want to say into what others want to hear.
I personally use it to carefully select what to say for the greatest impact and to create momentum. It is designed for Females in finance but it is proven to work with anyone.
Is it worth it?..
Let me put it this way… Once people realise that every time you talk you provide value (from their point of view, not yours), they will start asking for your opinion in areas where you proved to be useful in the past.
The more value you give the more attention you get. It takes time to prove to be useful. Take it.
